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2019: A Year in Review | Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse

“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end.” – Semisonic

2019 was positive overall with a few challenging experiences that made me re-evaluate who I AM. 2019 was the year of learning the f**** lessons that I did not learn in the past: SELF-LOVE, SELF-RESPECT AND WORTH.  I learned the hard way to get up from a table when respect and love were no longer served. I reflect today and I think that your entire life can really change in a year… you just gotta love yourself enough to know you deserve more, be brave enough to demand more, and be disciplined to work for more.  

In 2019, I apologized to my inner child for all the pain and suffering that I’ve put her through.  She needed safety, comfort, love and stability and instead I gave her breadcrumbs – that’s what I was used to it to receive and give. I promised her to reparent my behavior by not allowing anyone to change her, control her or abuse her (NARCISSISTS or emotionally retarded individuals are no longer welcome in my life). I reassured her that there is nothing wrong with her. I promised her that moving forward I will never, ever leave her alone. I will always listen to her. I will keep her safe and let her be and I will unconditionally love her no matter what.

I am grateful for those that showed me love, were by my side, celebrated my successes and wiped my tears. Each of you mean the world to me – the love is mutual, and I will always be by your side. Thanks to the #soulsistas club 😊 each of you ladies are f**** sensual empresses – you all hold a luminous torch that unveils the mysteries that create life, love and sex. You all exude the soul of feminine divinity! Together, as a soul tribe we will awake the Shakti of every women. I am fortunate to have you in my life. There will be more catwalks and runways in 2020.

For those that have cheated, neglected and cause me pain consciously or unconsciously. Today, I want to say FUCK YOU followed by a huge THANK YOU! Projecting your inner traumas on me enabled me to walk through the halls of my own inner fires and go to the root. I am currently working on healing and reintegrating those parts of me that somehow were neglected. You threw a different blow to my soul in 2019.

My worlds for 2020 are SELF-CARE, SELF-LOVE and FUN. Real self-care can’t be bought, it isn’t just spa days and facials. Real self-care is a series of tough decisions – the decision to be more discipled, to address your reoccurring toxic patterns, to prioritize your mental health and to put your happiness over your history. Integrating and making peace with your shadow will allow you to LOVE yourself as you are (this is my definition of self-love) Regarding FUN, I bow to me to only make things that bring me pleasure and set my soul on fire.

I truly hope you that in 2020 you also find what sets your soul of fire and have the courage to pursue it. Your purpose is to embrace your own divinity so GO FOR IT 😊

XOXO, ~D. 🔥🌈💋👑🖤 

#WarriorGoddess #HerStory

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